If you don’t love the Hartford Yard Goats, then you need to learn to love yourself

It’s snowing right now in New England — pretty heavily. But it’s never too early to start thinking about baseball.

For those who have not heard already, Hartford, Connecticut is getting a minor league baseball team this season — and everything about them could make for a very strong loving or hateful relationship.

Everyone must know by now that their name is the Yard Goats but seriously, where does that come from? Has there ever even been a goat in Hartford?

yard goats

By the way, these are their mascots, Chompers and Chew Chew. Surprisingly, they’re allowed within 500 feet of the stadium. But it’s unclear if they are allowed within 500 feet of an elementary school. My guess is probably not. Simple reason for that is they look like they would give kids nightmares — and adults for that matter.

If that’s not enough, then check out their theme song. Yes, they have a theme song.

Again, something that will make people either love or hate them. Some people will eat it up, others will throw it up.

They’re probably the most famous minor league baseball team to have not played a game yet. Already, they have made an appearance on late night television.

If New Englanders don’t love them already then consider this: their home field is going to be called Dunkin Donuts Park. How much more New England can it get?

And the best part of it all is the stadium isn’t even ready yet. But it is supposed to be — by late May.

That will be a long two months for the players — as if the minor league road schedule was not bad enough. But worry not Red Sox fans, they are the Colorado Rockies AA affiliate.

The stadium might be set to open in late may, but from a look at the recent construction updates, it seems improbable that they can turn this mound of dirt into a minor league park in three months — especially if it snows a lot.

The Yard Goats have yet to release their promotional schedule because they don’t know when their first home game is actually going to take place, but believe this: it is going to be epic — whatever it is. Can only imagine Chompers and Chew Chew coming onto the field via a parachute landing on Opening Day and a D-list celebrity like Dustin Diamond, Carrot Top or 2016 Aaron Carter throwing out the first pitch.

If the Lowell Spinners can do this, then just imagine what the Yard Goats can do.


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