The internet loves a list of weird laws in Massachusetts. Problem is, half of them are recycled punchlines with no chapter and section. Gorillas in the back seat? Goatee permits? Tomatoes in clam chowda as a crime? Those are myths, and Mass.gov has even said so out loud about the gorilla one. The real Bay State quirks are quieter, older, and somehow weirder: national-anthem rules, pigeon-net etiquette, Silly String bans, and a statute that says you do not have to disclose a haunted house unless somebody asks. Here's the townie cut. Real laws, real towns, and a short hall of shame for the fakes.
1. Finish the National Anthem (or Don't Remix It)
Under Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 264, Section 9, if you play or sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" in a public place, theater, restaurant, café, or at a public entertainment, it has to be the whole song, as its own number, without embellishment or other melodies mixed in. Using it as dance music, an exit march, or part of a medley can get you a fine of up to $100. Nobody is hunting DJs for this in 2026. But yes, that statute is still on the books, straight from the legislature's site.
2. Don't Scare the Pigeons (at Least Not Near the Nets)
Chapter 266, Section 132 is the one that viral lists flatten into "it is illegal to scare a pigeon." The real rule is more specific and more 1848: you cannot willfully kill pigeons on, or frighten them from, beds set up for netting them, within about 550 yards (the statute still says one hundred rods), unless you are on your own land. Penalty: up to a month in jail or a $20 fine, plus damages to the bed owner. Boston Common pigeons are not running a trapping economy anymore. The statute survived anyway.
3. Hands Off Somebody Else's Milk Can
Chapter 266, Section 128 makes it a crime to knowingly wipe, alter, or cover a milk dealer's name or mark on a milk can without consent, or to keep using a marked can in your business to defraud. Fine: up to $10. It is a leftover from when milk cans were branded gear that moved door to door. Not glamorous. Extremely Massachusetts.
4. Fortune Tellers Need a License (and a Year in Town)
Want to tell fortunes for money in Massachusetts? Chapter 140, Section 185I says you need a local license, and you generally have to have lived in that city or town for twelve straight months before you apply. Fee ranges from a couple bucks up to $50 depending on the municipality. Unlicensed fortune-telling for money: fine up to $100. Salem's whole psychic tourism scene makes this one especially funny. Move to Witch City in October and the statute still wants you to wait a year before cashing in on crystal balls.
5. Watch Your Mouth at the Ballgame
Chapter 272, Section 36A says if you are sixteen or older and you aim profane, obscene, or slanderous language at a player or official during a sporting event, you can be fined up to $50. In theory. In practice, Fenway still sounds like Fenway. The Commonwealth put the rule in writing anyway, which is very on-brand for a state that both loves sports and loves telling you how to behave.
6. Massachusetts Is a Two-Party Consent State
This one is not a cute leftover. It actually matters. Under Chapter 272, Section 99, secretly recording a conversation in person or on the phone without consent from everyone involved can be a felony, with serious prison time and big fines on the table. Most states are one-party consent. Massachusetts is not. If you are recording an argument, a landlord chat, or a workplace meeting, assume you need everybody on board unless a narrow exception applies. "I hit record on my phone" is not a Bay State loophole.
7. Silly String Is Banned in Marlborough
After a 1980s Labor Day parade turned into a Silly String cleanup nightmare, Marlborough banned selling or using products designed to shoot plastic string or streamers inside city limits. Local coverage and the mayor have talked about it for years; offenders have historically faced fines that listicles usually quote around $200. It is a city ordinance, not a statewide Silly String apocalypse. Still: if you are packing parade supplies for Marlborough, leave the cans at home.
8. Brookline's "Born in the 2000s" Tobacco Ban
Brookline adopted a bylaw that phases out tobacco sales to anyone born in the 21st century. In 2024 the state's highest court upheld it, which put the town on the map for a rule that gets stricter as the calendar moves. It is not a colonial leftover. It is a modern local experiment with real teeth. Weird? Kind of. Real? Absolutely.
9. Haunted Houses Do Not Have to Be Disclosed (Unless You Ask)
Chapter 93, Section 114 says a property being "psychologically impacted" — including alleged ghosts, or that it was the site of a felony, suicide, or homicide — is not a material fact sellers and brokers have to volunteer. No lawsuit just for failing to mention the haunting. But they still cannot lie. So if you ask "has this place been the site of supernatural activity?" they have to answer truthfully. Mass.gov even jokes about it around Halloween: ask, or you might buy the ghost with the house.
10. Blue Laws Still Haunt Thanksgiving and Christmas
Massachusetts used to shut down Sundays hard. The modern version still has bite. Retail stores are generally barred from opening on Thanksgiving and Christmas without the right statewide and local permits, and alcohol has its own Sunday timing rules. The Attorney General's office still publishes guidance on Sundays and holidays. We are one of the few states that still treat those two retail blackout days as serious business. Puritan hangover, meet modern shopping cart.
11. Chatham's Peace-and-Order Greatest Hits
Cape towns keep old bylaws the way grandmothers keep Tupperware. A Cape Cod Chronicle rundown of Chatham's books flagged bans on "peeking or spying" (police exempted), horses on sidewalks, throwing objects in public streets, and running a dance, bowling alley, or other public amusement between 2 and 6 a.m. A lot of it is unenforced or outdated. It is still the kind of municipal rulebook that makes you realize New England democracy once obsessed over sidewalk livestock and late-night bowling.
12. Nunchucks and Throwing Stars Are Not Casual Carry
Chapter 269, Section 10 is the big dangerous-weapons statute. Alongside the usual firearms and switchblade language, it specifically names things like nunchaku, shuriken (throwing stars), and other martial-arts gear. Penalties are not a joke. If you are moving to Massachusetts with a teenage weapons cosplay kit in the trunk, check the statute before you treat it like sporting goods. This is one of the "weird until you read the fine" laws.
Fake Massachusetts Laws (Do Not Fall for These)
Plenty of "baffling Massachusetts laws" lists still circulate the same myths. Treat these as entertainment, not the General Laws.
Gorilla in the back seat — Mass.gov has said flat-out there is no such statute. No chapter, no section, no gorilla.
Tomatoes in clam chowder are illegal — New England cares deeply about cream vs. tomato, but the famous tomato-ban bill was a Maine stunt that never even became Maine law, and it was never a Massachusetts crime.
Goatee permits, sandwich limits at wakes, lions at the movies — classic copy-paste folklore. Fun at a cookout. Not how you brief a lawyer.
Doctor's note required to bathe in Boston — urban legend territory, often traced back to old joke books and a Mencken-era fake-laws tradition. Do not cite it as code.
If a "weird law" sounds like a punchline and nobody can point to a real citation, it is probably a punchline. For the older, myth-heavy version of this beat on our blog, see The 10 Most Baffling Laws On The Books In Massachusetts — then come back here for the fact-checked cut.
So, Are Massachusetts' Weird Laws Actually Weird?
Some are colonial leftovers that never got cleaned up. Some are local cleanup rules after one bad parade. Some, like two-party consent and Brookline's tobacco bylaw, still shape real life. The through-line is pure Commonwealth: write it down, keep it forever, and argue about it at the dinner table. Rep the state that invented half of American law and still finesses the national anthem with the Massachusetts Cities & Towns T-Shirt, or roll Mass Pike energy in the Vintage Mass Pike Sign T-Shirt. Want more New England statute chaos? Start with 10 of the strangest laws on the books in Connecticut and 10 peculiar laws in Rhode Island.
Know a real municipal ordinance we missed? Send it over. Bring the citation. We are Massholes. We fact-check.
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