10 Things To Know Before You Marry A Girl From Boston
Girls from Boston are special in many ways. Before you enter into the death do us part pledge there are a few things you must know about girls from Boston:
1.) Most of them are a little bit nuts. Boston girls have a little switch in them that could be activated at any time. If that switch flips, run fast, find a safe place and return home when things have calmed down.
2.) Her closet will likely take over the house. In New England we have crazy weather, that means her wardrobe will likely grow like a gremlin hitting water. Boston women are not necessarily high fashion and clothing obsessed on a daily basis but they need the right tools for the right weather. Be ready for at least 10 coats, 100 shoes, 15 handbags and a bunch of things she calls outfits.
3.) Get ready to go apple picking, every single year. Just pretend you love it, pick some apples, wear a damn nice sweater for some photo's ops and smile. Side note: You likely will have to pose in front of some pumpkin patches, drink some overly sweet cider, go on a hayride etc, get over it now. Expert tip, stop at market basket beforehand, find the perfect red delicious, keep it in your pocket and present it to her at the farm, tell her the perfection reminded you of her.
4.) She is a sports junkie and her family is too. General rule of thumb; don't plan anything during a Sox, Bruins, Celtics, or Patriots playoff game. Don't talk trash about any player on any one of her hometown teams, it won't end well. Don't pretend to like Boston sports, you will come off as phony, just tolerate them, smile and understand it's a battle you will never win, ever. Tolerate her sports obsessed family and friends, it's part of their culture.
5.) She has crazy friends. Without even knowing her, it's safe to declare that she has friends that are completely insane. Half of them should be institutionalized, the other half shouldn't be allowed to leave home without an ankle bracelet. Since women from Boston are 99% crazy, her friends will be no different, tolerate them or it will be a tough life for you. Good thing is none of them are likely in Boston as aspiring actors so their craziness is real and predictable, unlike girls from LA & New York, what you see is what you get.
6.) She is loyal. Just like her love for her friends and her sports, Boston girls are ultra-loyal to their significant others and very protective. Be ready to have to remove her from any situation where a women might be into your handsome smile, she will be ready to throw a right hook if needed.
7.) Tom Brady was her first love and she would leave you for him if she could, end of story.
8.) She will drink wine & gossip with her closest friends. Probably not limited to girls from Boston but add in their accent, the inherent craziness, and couple of drunk on wine Boston girls and you have a made for TV movie right in your kitchen.
9.) She will not like to lose. She is probably incredibly competitive and a sore loser. Part of this is to blame on the fact that she likely has grown up in an era of sports dominance so losing isn't something she is familiar with. Her losing coping skills have not developed properly. Just let her win at everything, it's for the best.
10.) She will think Boston is the best place in the world. It doesn't matter where life takes you she will always think Boston is home. If you find yourself living in another state or country buy her the occasional gift item that brings her some security.