Tom Brady? Where are you? Come here so the media can ask you the same questions over and over albeit you’re not playing in a game until October.
So here’s the big Brady news now: he missed two practices so, of course, the media wanted to know what he had going on. Brady let them know, he had to take care of something. Now, the hunt begins as to what that something could be.
Could it have been a dentist appointment? Did he need to pick up his dry cleaning? Or maybe his Chinese food was ready? Aha. He had something going on and doesn’t feel the need to share with everyone. It happens sometimes.
If anything is a cause for concern though, it’s him cutting himself with scissors last week. It’s not from the wondering what happened aspect of it, but man, that guy has a golden arm and he needs his hand to grip a football. He needs to be good to go come Week 5 to start the ring number five world tour.
Apparently, the media didn’t like Brady’s injury though:
Shot of the damage to Tom Brady's right thumb. I think he'll be ok. pic.twitter.com/rdJadYffY1
— Phil Perry (@PhilAPerry) August 23, 2016
Not sure how someone can talk about someone else being stabbed without being stabbed themselves.
So what exactly is Brady going to do for the first four weeks of the season? Uh, uh, uh, *bursts into flames*. It’s not clear. He “hasn’t thought about” what he’s going to do during that time. Doesn’t matter though: if he shows up ready to play — as expected — then there is no issue.
It’s also worth noting with Peyton Manning out of the way, Brady is the oldest quarterback in the NFL. In fact, he’s the oldest non kicker/punter around. How is that possible? I don’t know. Maybe you should buy his $200 cookbook and find out. Or maybe you could buy some of his $50 nuts. Oh wait, they sold out. Sorry.